The Customs and Traditions of Yom Kippur
By Avi Lazerson
On Erev Yom Kippur: Kapparot and Early Minchah
On the day before Yom Kippur, it is customary to rise early to perform the ceremony of kappores (also called kapparot). Dawn is considered a time of divine mercy. For more background on the ceremony, see this overview on Jewish Magazine.
The afternoon service (Minchah) is prayed early, before the final meal. Many have the custom to ask a neighbor for “food” (lekakh, honey cake). Symbolically, if a decree in heaven were that one should become a beggar, this small request fulfills and annuls that decree.
Symbolic Flagellation
There is also a custom of symbolic flagellation. A friend lightly strikes the back with a leather belt—without force or pain—again as a symbolic fulfillment should such a decree exist, so that it may be annulled.
Feasting Before the Fast
It is a mitzvah to feast on the day before Yom Kippur so one can fast and pray with strength. Our final pre-fast meal is eaten toward evening. As on Rosh HaShanah, we dip bread in honey. Foods are chosen that are easily digested, such as fowl.
It is customary not to eat fish at this final meal (fish may be eaten earlier in the day). We avoid foods that generate bodily heat—such as garlic and eggs—and very salty foods (like pickles) that increase thirst.
We finish this meal before sunset to “add from the weekday to the Holy Day,” beginning our fast slightly early to show that we welcome Yom Kippur with joy.
Dignified Clothing and the White Kittel
Yom Kippur is a festival and should be honored with Yom Tov clothing. Yet because it is also the Day of Judgment, we avoid showy or gaudy attire—dressing as for court, with dignity and respect. Traditionally, women refrain from jewelry. Many men wear a white kittel, the simple garment also used for burial, to stir solemn reflection.
Candles and Home Practices
Candles are lit in the home as on other festivals, before sunset. Some married couples light a candle in the bedroom as a reminder that marital relations are forbidden on this day. In addition, a traditional yahrzeit candle is lit in memory of the departed, burning for approximately twenty-five hours.
Blessing the Children
It is traditional for parents to bless their children before leaving for synagogue, imploring HaShem for a year of life, health, prosperity, and peace. Many also seek blessings from distinguished rabbis.
Tallit at Night
Although men normally wear a large prayer shawl (tallit) by day, on Yom Kippur it is also worn at night—put on before nightfall in order to recite the blessing.
Seeking Forgiveness From Others
Yom Kippur atones for sins between a person and G-d. Sins between people require prior repair. We therefore ask those we may have harmed to forgive us—family, friends, and especially anyone we truly wronged. When those we hurt forgive us, we may merit G-d’s forgiveness as well.
Five Afflictions
On Yom Kippur, five activities are forbidden: eating, drinking, wearing (leather) shoes, anointing with oil, and marital relations. Washing is limited to the minimum needed for cleanliness (e.g., after the restroom). If one is ill or has special circumstances, a competent rabbi and medical professional should be consulted.
Spices for Strength and Blessing
Many have the custom to smell fragrant spices during Yom Kippur. In some synagogues, spice boxes are passed around. The aroma helps revive the body and gives additional opportunities to bless G-d, increasing our merits.
Conclusion of the Fast
At the close of Yom Kippur, the shofar is sounded to mark the end of the Holy Day. We eat, drink, and rejoice—confident that HaShem has heard our heartfelt prayers. That very night we customarily begin some aspect of building the Sukkah, showing our love and eagerness to fulfill the next mitzvah.
